I am his masterpiece...

...I'm not worth it. But He still loves me...

There are somethings in my faith that need to be worked on. I have really been struggling lately with a lot of things. I have been struggling with the past and not looking to the future. I feel like I can't get anywhere because I do the same things over and over again. I don't feel good enough to be God's creation. In fact, today has been such a weird day that I felt like I needed to change something about myself. It was as if something about me had to change and I thought that it was something physical. (So I have straight hair today. Speaking of straight hair it was awesome to hear from my roommate today that she liked my curly hair better. I wittingly said "I'm glad that you like me the way that I was created.") But it isn't something physical that has needed to happen it is something inside of me.

I was on facebook earlier today (surprising... I know). A friend of mine on there posted this video by The Skit Guys (click The Skit Guys to watch it.) It completely encompasses how I feel right now. And what I need right now.

"I can't be good" - dude
"I made you good" - dude that is God

That is how I feel right now. I need to hear that. I have bought into this lie that I can not be good... but God made me good. He made all things good. All things in HIS imagine.

And...

HE DID NOT MAKE JUNK! I love that. It is something that is so important for me to remember. There are so many times where I think about what other people say and what other people think. I have to remember that I am an original masterpiece.

ORIGINAL.
MASTERPIECE.
ME.

Why is it so hard to believe that? Why is it so hard to own that?

This continues on with my struggle of what is going on in my life. Where I want to be and where God has me. They are two different places and it is because I'm afraid to let God do His work in me.

I have to change. I have to do things differently.

So those that are reading this please pray for this transformation to happen because I want it, but I will back away from it. It is in my nature to walk away from the pain and take the easy road. I want to stop, but I can't do this alone. I need some Jesus.